Spudguns!...I've got nothing cute to write tonight. I'm down cause my popcorn which I like to snack on between tossing at the screen during matches I think suck, burned. Anyways on with the commentary....
Pre-show: I liked the breakdown of what the stairs weight and all that, but then again I like pointless information...
When are they going to let Micheal Cole do a whole show on his own on announce booth?
New Day vs Dust Busters. What is the point of this gimmick? The New Day, I mean? They suppose to be tv preachers or something? The New Day got the pin for the win. Boooo!
Match#1- Dolph Ziggler vs Luke Harper for the Intercontinental Title. Ladder match with the title hanging over the ring. Wow, the crowd for Ziggler was loud. I dont' get the eyeballs thing? What's up with that intro for Harper and the million eyes?
Ziggler was tossed face first into one of the ladders outside the ring, before being tossed into the pit. Harper started to climb a ladder, but Ziggler managed to squeeze back into the ring and knock him off. Harper then made a bridge from ring to booth, but failed to plant Ziggler. It looked like Harper was going to start working on the knee of Ziggler for a second, but went back to the ladder climbing. Ziggler used the pants to pull Harper off the ladder, then ended up with a ladder to the skull for his efforts. Ziggler was starting to climb from the turnbuckles, but got kicked to the floor, and a large ladder tossed on top of him for good measure. Harper did a suicide dive hit the ladder and landed horribly on the floor-everyone thinking he broke his arm and damn it sure looked like it- Ziggler then climbing, but was half dragged off the ladder. Harper then pushed the ladder sending Ziggler onto the ropes. Harper then slide a ladder into the hands of Ziggler while Ziggler was face down on the mat. There was blood at a few points on both men. Ziggler with a hard dropkick to Harper, but wasn't fast enough to grab another ladder. Harper then dropped him hard onto another ladder that had been placed on the second turnbuckle. Harper needs a haircut and a new shirt...just saying. Both men climbed at the same time, trading fists, and both falling off the top of the ladder. Harper looked like he was about to vomit for a long pause, but kept it together long enough to find one of the tallest ladders. Which Ziggler used to faceplant Harper into. Ziggler was climbing once again, and got pulled off the ladder but some how turned it into a DDT. Which didn't really seem to phase Harper at all. Harper grabbed another ladder and windmilled. Only to be greeted by a mule kick from Ziggler. Harper was on the outside on the apron and Ziggler plowed him with a shorter ladder knocking Harper onto the bridge. Ziggler was a fingertip away from getting the title when Harper crawled back into the ring, toppling over the ladder sending Ziggler once again into the ropes hard. Ziggler somehow managed to skip from one ladder to the other, climbing once again only to be stopped. Harper was setting up one more ladder but Ziggler managed to get the title. Ziggler is once again the Intercontinental Champ.
Match #2- Usos vs Miz/Sandow for Tag Titles. Jay started with a side headlock on Miz, which quickly became a bunch of back and forth roll ups. Jimmy tagged in, to a houseful of chants for Sandow. jimmy had a few hard chops to Miz...lest I think it was Jimmy? Jay tagged in with a clothesline sending Miz outside the ring. He then went flying high over the top rope taking both Miz and Sandow out. Miz with a hard DDT on one of the Usos...I can't tell them apart...Miz followed up with a kick to Usos' face. More crowd cheers for Sandow, but Miz didn't seem ready to give in, the distraction gave Uso a chance to go for a pin via roll up but Miz kicked out. Enzuigiri from Uso to Miz, other Uso tagged in with some brutal clotheslines, followed by the samoan drop. Miz gave him a kick to the face going for the pin but only got a near fall. Back slide from the corner by Uso on Miz, then a flying corkscrew from the ropes, Sandow tried to get in there but failed, Uso got a version of the crab on Miz, but Miz got to the bottom rope forcing a break. Miz tried for his trademark skull crushing finally, but got a boot to the face for his trouble. Uso was on the top turnbuckle, Miz sliding out grabbing the title to run, but Uso suicide dive through the ropes knocking down both Miz and Sandow. Miz then cheating using the slammy upside the head on Uso. Usos got the win by dq but lost the chance to get the titles.
Seth Rollins did a promo...could have picked a better topic other then the Authority but...love to hear him ramble on about pretty much anything.
Match #3- Big Show vs Erick Rowan in a Stairs match. Rowan got Show into the corner right off with a bunch of knees and chops. They went outside the ring, with Show slamming Rowan hard on the floor. Show then whipped him into the stairs, leaving Rowan grabbing his shoulder. Show grabbed him then by the beard tossing him back into the ring. Show started to pick up the stairs, putting them on the apron, but Rowan gave a running kick to them, sending Show flying backwards. Rowan then started to grab the next set of stairs that was placed around the ring building a fort or something. Show sent Rowan face first into the post, before dumping him back into the ring. This was followed up by a few chops by Show before throwing Rowan into the pit. The stairs then were brought into the ring and onto the announce booth sending the team running. Show then sent Rowan shoulder first into the nearest stairs while the crowd made him mad. A few jokes from the team pointing out they are the English announce booth not the Spanish and should be safe from the bad. Rowan was tossed around the ring a bit, while Show placed the stairs on the second turnbuckle, giving Rowan a chance to try to fight back. He sent a few elbows and forearms to Show's face but for not, as Show shoved Rowan more then once into the stairs in the corner on the turnbuckle. The crowd started to chant boring. More elbows and forearms from Rowan before picking up Show and slamming him on the stairs...the ones in the middle of the ring that had been sitting there for awhile...Rowan standing on second turnbuckle with a set of stairs jumping down on top of Show who was flat on the ones in the middle of the ring, but Show rolled and the corner of the ones in Rowan's hand hit Rowan in the eye. Show then speared Rowan outside the ring into the fort of stairs, hurting them both. They barely got back into the ring, when Show picked up the set from the middle of the ring, only to have Rowan kick it into Show's face. Show found the energy to choke slam Rowan into the other set of stairs and knocked him out. Show placed the last set on Rowan sitting on them getting the win.
Paul Heyman came out to stand at ringside to watch the Seth Rollins vs Cena match...
Match#4-Seth Rolins vs Cena in a Tables match. I love the whole evil gothic Spiderman thing Rollins has going on. His beard's getting a little full for my taste but... Cena threw the first punch sending Rollins into the corner then face down on the mat. Rollins quickly got back on top with a series of kicks. Rollins whipped Cena into the corner but Cena bounced out with a clothesline that turned Rollins inside out. Then Cena grabbed the tables. Rollins fought back with more kicks, and a flying run from corner to corner squashing Cena. Rollins slipped out to the floor for another table, but Cena grabbed him by the hair tossing him into the ring. Rollins with a double axe-handle to the back of the skull on Cena. Rollins grabbed the table setting it upon the top turnbuckle. Mercury and Noble kept removing the tables no matter which of them set it up. Rollins with a DDT to Cena, then out to the floor for another table. He set it in the corner, before laying more kicks to Cena. Headbutt by Rollins, followed by elbows to the skull of Cena. Rollins tried to whip Cena into the table, but Cena gave a shoulder tackle getting the upper hand. But not for long, because M/N attacked letting Rollins once again get more kicks in. Cena fought his way out sending everyone to the floor. Rollins followed but Cena shoved him face first into a ladder before grabbing the safety rails hitting everyone with it. Cena slammed Noble on the rails, but Rollins attacked Cena again with a double axe-handle. Mercury then sent Cena back up to the ring with a series of punches. Cena was put face first into the post, as Rollins and Mercury tried to send a table at him, but Cena ducked. Mercury was sent into the pit. Rollins managed to get a slight upper hand sending Cena hard into the railing, before setting up yet another table ringside. Make that two tables side by side. Rollins was climbing on the apron, trying to lift Cena, but he blocked suplexing Rollins back into the ring. More back and forth punches, with Rollins flipping Cena. Rollins tried to irish whip Cena from corner to corner but Cena blocked sending Rollins over the top rope. Rollins grabbed the briefcase hitting Cena with it a few times. Back in the ring, another table was set up by Rollins. Anyone else notice that the bleached side of Seth Rollin's hair looks really brittle and shorter then the rest of his hair? Cena kicked Rollins in the face getting him in his AA for the table but Rollins flipped out. Rollins gave a hard kick to Cena's face sending him landing gently on the table. Climbing to the second rope, Rollins was about to put Cena through it, but Cena flipped on him sending Rollins through the table. BUT the ref did not see it, and M/N slithered in cleaning up the broken table, placing in a new one helping Rollins to his feet. The three of them were going to triple powerbomb Cena but he got out. Cena picked up but N/M and tabled both of them. Damn he's stronger then i thought. Rollins on the apron with a shoulder tackle on Cena sending him back into the ring. Then Cena climbed out on the apron, where they both traded fists, sending each other through a table at the same second. Two more refs ran out to argue the end result, before deciding that...it needed to be restarted.
Rollins sent Cena out of the ring, then suicide dive on him. Rollins tore up the booths, but Cena picked him up shooting him onto the announce booth. Table did not break for once, but Rollins was on the floor along with the team. While Cena set up another table in the ring. Are there any tables left for the other matches? Rollins looked like he was going to puke...just as Big Show came down to the ring. Show with a few punches to Cena knocking him down. AND THEN THE CROWD WENT MAD AS ROMAN REIGNS MUSIC STARTED AND HE CAME THROUGH THE CROWD. Reigns speared Show through the table. Then a superman punch to Rollins, giving Cena the chance to pick up Rollins and put him through the table. Nice...that Reigns returned, not that Cena won.
Not that anyone should be surprised that Reigns is back given he was on the weekly shows this past week.
Match#5- Women's match...bathroom break.
Roman Reigns did a promo. He forgot his lines for a second you could tell as he looked into the camera nodding eyes wide...and he's entered into the Royal Rumble.
Match#6-Kane vs Ryback in a chairs match. Both grabbed the chairs right off the bat, swinging them like air. Neither getting far, until Kane managed to get a shot on Ryback, before setting a chair up in the corner. Too bad for him, Ryback sent Kane into the chair first, then slammed him repeatedly on the mat. Ryback lifted Kane onto his shoulder, slamming him hard on the mat,before getting up and just belly slamming from the second rope. Another chair to the back and stomach of Kane sending him rolling. Ryback set a chair on Kane's stomach climbing again to the ropes, only to have Kane raise his knees moving the position of the chair, hurting Ryback. Kane then to his feet setting another chair in the corner, bouncing Ryback's skull off it. Kane planted a few chops to Ryback before grabbing yet another set of chairs, which he used on Ryback before dropping one to the mat. This then became a series of each man blocking the other from slamming him onto it. Kane once again went for a pin but Ryback kicked out again. Ryback kicked Kane's hand just as he was swinging a chair, but Kane still managed to get the upper hand. Crowd started to chant boring. Ryback with a series of punches, but Kane countered with a kick to the face toppling Ryback over. Kane went for another pin fall but once again there was a kick out. Kane whipped Ryback into the corner, but Ryback countered with a belly to belly suplex before grabbing a chair. Kane got ahold of it and just repeatedly used it on him. It broke and Kane went hunting and gathering more fresh less broken chairs into the ring. Kane went for a choke slam but Ryback countered it, slamming Kane down through the set up of chairs, before just breaking another chair over kane. Ryback was going for a spear when he got a face full of chair, and taken down by Kane. Once more, Kane tried for a pin but Ryback kicked out. Ryback with a short clothesline, and his trademark shellshocked for the win.
Match#7- Rusev vs Swagger for the United States Title. Swagger started with a series of punches, but Rusev tried to counter. Swagger picked him up and tossed him hard to the mat then wrapped Rusev around the post. Outside of the ring, Swagger chased him, back in the ring, Rusev went for a clothesline but missed. Swagger bomb in the corner but Rusev rolled out of the way. Rusev went for a kick, but was caught by Swagger and he began his ankle lock. Rusev got out of it, slapping on his camel clutch, but Swagger broke it getting to the bottom rope. Rusev slapped it on again, putting Swagger to sleep. Or so everyone thought. Swagger fought out of it, getting to his knees, holding Rusev on his back, just long enough to roll and put the ankle lock back on Rusev. Rusev broke out of it by kicking Swagger in the jaw. Swagger ended up on the floor outside, after another kick to the face sent his skull bouncing off the apron. getting back into the ring, Rusev slapped his camel clutch once more, really sitting on Swagger. Rusev got the win by submission.
Main Event- Dean Ambrose vs Bray Wyatt in a Tables Ladders Chairs match. Ambrose brought his own ladder to the ring then danced around in the ring like he was going to start belly dancing or in a shaman's trance. Cool. Still amazed at the sight of how many lights in the audience for Wyatt. Double cool. Ambrose tossed his ladder at Wyatt before he could even get into the ring, then just started to pound on each other back up the ramp. A series of punches from Ambrose, sending Wyatt back to the ring, which he rolled out of. Ambrose ran in and suicide dive onto him. Ambrose then did his trademark run across the announce booth onto Wyatt, leading him through the crowds panting like a dog. Wyatt sent Ambrose into the rails, and made the mistake of turning his back on Ambrose who just ran full steam at him. Back at the booth, Ambrose kicked him in the stomach, sending Wyatt into the post. And Ambrose got the rest of the chairs slamming them hard on Wyatt. Tossing chairs into the ring then followed up with many many headbutts to Wyatt's forehead. Then the tables were brought into the mix. Ambrose found a few kindo sticks, using them on Wyatt who finally was in the ring. In all this I failed to mention the spiffy leather vest Wyatt was wearing. Ambrose got to the top of the turnbuckles with a chair and just slammed down on Wyatt after gloating. Ambrose was totally in control, with yet another kindo stick to the throat of Wyatt. Ambrose then went to the ropes again, only to be tossed outside through a table by Wyatt. Wyatt then outside the ring, throwing Ambrose hard into the rails. Back into the ring, Wyatt went for a pin but Ambrose kicked out. Wyatt with the stick on Ambrose, many many times. Wyatt stuck the stick into the turnbuckle sending Ambrose eyes first into it. Ambrose was then down on the mat his eye looking a little weird...no pun intended...as Wyatt laid boots to him. Followed by a ladder. Wyatt was in complete control as he used an upper cut sending Ambrose back first on the ladder, and slamming down on him with a senton. Wyatt grabbed the stick putting it in Ambrose's mouth pulling...then set up another ladder whipping Ambrose into it hard in the corner. Wyatt charged trying to splat him, but Ambrose moved. Center of the ring, and Ambrose was dancing again before driving Wyatt into the ladder. Ambrose with a running bulldog on Wyatt, before grabbing the ladder again setting it up on the top turnbuckle, using it as a springboard landing on Wyatt. Ambrose went for a pin but Wyatt kicked out. Wyatt was caught up in the ropes, and Ambrose with his trademark run from wall to wall kicking Wyatt. Another pin attempt by Ambrose that didn't make it. They spent the next few seconds each countering the other's finishers, before Wyatt got Ambrose with a brutal clothesline. Ambrose rolled out of the ring, only to get kicked by Wyatt and tossed back in. Ambrose slithered down returning the clothesline. Both on the floor, moving up the ramp trading punches. Ambrose set up another table and a few ladders, climbing up to the top and delivered a mean elbow to him breaking the table and his elbow. Ambrose having the upper hand, tried it again. Damn, he can't have any bones left unbroken. Ambrose picked up Wyatt like a rag doll and tossed him back into the ring, but Ambrose was barely able to get up into the ring himself. Wyatt pulled his finisher sister Abigail out of nowhere but Ambrose kicked out! Damn I knew I liked Dean Ambrose for a reason. And then the exorcist- sort of, as Wyatt went again for his finisher, but Ambrose got his DDT on him. About to pin Wyatt, but Wyatt kicked out, leaving Ambrose stunned. Both outside the ring, and Ambrose found a working tv screen...which gave him the idea to go to the large tron...laughing like he's on something, grabbing the biggest ladder he could carry. Wyatt was out cold on the floor, I think bleeding...while Ambrose tore up the second announce booth. Wyatt with a chair on Ambrose, before headbutting him a few times. Wyatt was going again for the same move with the chair to the neck from last week, but Ambrose turned it around doing that to Wyatt. Right before climbing the uber tall ladder and jumping onto Wyatt's body on the announce booth. Both men down in the fetal position barely breathing. Ambrose kissed Wyatt, who then headbutted him which led to Ambrose punching Wyatt repeatedly. Ambrose then got Wyatt back to the ring, crawling in himself. Ambrose was going to use the tv screen but it was plugged in, and that backfired blinding him. Wyatt slapped sister Abigail on him getting the win.
Okay, so I know I've been grumbly about this match/storyline, but I have to admit, Ambrose managed to keep me laughing through most of it. Yeah, as brutal as it was, I found the facials and gestures and just the generalness of Dean Ambrose entertaining and loved it.
Obviously folks, I couldn't keep up with every single move because it was a live show. When I used to do my reviews like this few years ago, I would tape shows and pause/rewind to get every move.
The kiss-headbutt-punches had me laughing. Totally reminded me of when a dog gets pissed off and bites...
Love Ardeth Blood