This was the Slammys. A very god damned painful waste of time. I really do not see the point of doing an award show every year, can't you just do them up in a special edition of the WWE Magazine and not waste my life.
Where do I start.... CM Punk saying "chillax" Oh my god! The last time I heard someone said chillax, they were a drunk 20 year old girl with rings in her face and green hair. Punk, please don't say it again, please.
Next on my chopping block would be David Arquette. Dude, you were funny for about 90minutes back in 1992 as Benny in the original Buffy The Vampire Slayer movie and I can see that on dvd. This reminder that Arquette once held the WCW title for a day was just sad. And what was with the Corey Feldman wannabe voice you were doing?
Wade Barrett... I see you still haven't gotten over your desire to be Jughead Jones. Come on, I know I'm not the only one out there who wants to see some lift in that hairdo. I'd also like to see what the tattoo on his shoulder is, why can we never get a close up on that? In a few years time, when Barrett finally goes Face it's going to be the biggest turn ever. Dude's got talent. I could totally see Wade Barrett being movie material, not just action flicks either. He had a match against Big Show. Which BS won by count out.
Back to Punk. He won the Despicable Me award. And he was happy about it...odd. Punk, love the short hair hate the beard. Shave your jaw. Two weeks ago when the haircut was fresh it was a hot look, this week it just looked dirty.
Kofi Kingston/Daniel Bryan. vs Dolph Ziggler/DiBiase. Kofi got the win over Ziggler. I thought that DiBiase had been the legal man? Did I miss a tag? I'm really tired of the feud between Kofi Kingston and Dolph Ziggler. It's gone on for long enough.
Mark Henry vs Cody Rhodes. The Jekyll and Hyde thing Rhodes has is as tired as that stubby nose of his. Rhodes won.
Back to Wade Barrett... he came out when a slammy was won by Cena and took the award headed to the ring and teased the audience for a few minutes. Then Cena made his way through the crowd to the ring. Nexus surrounded the ring and Barrett rehired Cena. Then hit Cena with a chair.
Why is the Bore-Spore Alex Riley carrying around Miz's used Money in the Bank Briefcase? You know there is a dirty dirty joke in here....
Miz had a match against Rey Mysterio. Alberto Del Rio came out to the ring disrupting the match helping Miz get the win.
I actually feel sorry slightly for Bore-Spore Alex Riley having to carry the dead meat weight of Arquette in their handicap match. They went up against Randy Orton. I actually do remember David Arquette in his wrestling movie Ready to Rumble and I have to say I wish I didn't as it is the single bad movie that has tainted all wrestling films that have followed in the last decade. (The Wrestler finally fixed that bad mojo) The Bore-Spore Alex Riley was holding up really well against Randy Orton in this one, I'll have a few things to say about him in another post later. Orton won this match but ended up getting a face full of the briefcase.
The return of Christian was a sweet touch. Giving Edge the award for killing the computer few weeks ago was brilliant!
Sheamus came out in the King of the Ring black robe with his Herne the Hunter (The Green Man, Odin, Cernunnos, Pan, Bacchus, etc) crown and wand, looking like he was having a blast. He had a match against John Morrison. Now, I've adjusted the controls on my tv screen but does Morrison look a little off colour to anyone else? There seems to be an unnatural tint of orange to him. I'm guessing it's the fake-bake that most of the guys douse themselves in. This was a double dq as they both hit the ref.
Edge went up against Jack Swagger. Edge got the win with his spear.
The Quote of the year.... went to the large piece of crap Cole. I was hoping that CM Punk would have gotten it for the diet soda line the other week.
Seriously, CM Punk what would it cost me to have you rip Cole's vocal cords out through his nose with a fork?
Superstar of the year went to Cena. How predictable. Cena then went against Otunga. Cena got the win with a submission.
